Caring for an elderly parent in the UK from abroad

Know which emergency numbers work from abroad

In the UK, 999 and 112 both reach the emergency services. 112 is the pan-European equivalent of 999.¹ For urgent medical help that is not life threatening, NHS 111 can direct someone to the right place. People reach it by phone or through 111 online.³ For police matters that are not emergencies, people call 101 or report online.²

These numbers work for people in the UK. The phone network passes a 999 or 112 call to the emergency control room for the caller's location.¹ A call from New York or Sydney will not reach Leeds. From abroad you need regular numbers.

• Her police force. Check its website for a number for callers outside the UK and for its online contact options. Police Scotland, for example, lists 0300 426 0101 for people who live outside the UK.⁴
• Her neighbors and key holder, who can call 999 from her street.

Request a wellness check

If you cannot reach Mom and nobody nearby can go round, contact her local police force. Ask them to check on her welfare. GOV.UK says to call 999 if someone is in immediate danger and 101 for anything that is not an emergency.² From abroad, use the force's published number or its online contact. Say clearly if you think she is at risk. Have these details ready.

• Her full name and address.
• When you last heard from her and what is unusual.
• Health details that matter, such as medications or recent falls.
• Who has a key and your own number with the country code.

If you worry that someone is neglecting or harming her, call her local council. Ask for the adult safeguarding co-ordinator. Councils have social workers who deal with abuse and neglect.¹³

Find local services that help her live at home

Start with a care needs assessment from adult social services at her council. The assessment is free and anyone can ask for one. The council needs it before it can recommend help such as a personal alarm, changes to her home or a paid carer. Ask by phone or online. The council can run the assessment face to face, by phone or online. Ideally a friend or relative is there to help.⁵ Find her council on GOV.UK.

• Age UK Advice Line: Call 0800 678 1602 for free from 8 a.m. to 7 p.m. every day of the year. The line serves older people and their families.⁶
• Her GP surgery: Contact it for health concerns that are not urgent. Ask it about family and carer access, covered in the paperwork section.
• Telecare and community alarms: These personal alarms and monitoring systems alert a call centre or family if she has a problem such as a fall. Some councils provide monitoring services. Ask adult social services.⁷

Get consent and legal authority on paper

Her GP surgery can give you family and carer access, also called proxy access. With it, you can help with her health services online. You usually contact her surgery to ask. The surgery checks that she understands and agrees. You may both need to fill in a form and show photo ID. The surgery decides what access is appropriate.¹²

A Lasting Power of Attorney (LPA) lets her appoint one or more people to help her make decisions or to make them for her. An LPA comes in two types.¹⁰

• Health and welfare: Her attorney can use it only when she cannot make her own decisions.
• Property and financial affairs: With her permission, her attorney can use it as soon as the Office of the Public Guardian registers it.

She must have mental capacity when she makes it.¹⁰ The Office of the Public Guardian must register it. Registration takes 8 to 10 weeks if there are no mistakes. It costs £92, or £184 for both types, unless she qualifies for a reduction or exemption.¹¹ An LPA is legally binding only in England and Wales. Scotland and Northern Ireland have their own powers of attorney.¹⁰ Ask a solicitor for advice on her situation.

Plan calls across time zones

Take one family as an example. Mom lives in Leeds. Jane lives in New York, John in Sydney and Ana in Helsinki. The table shows the differences in November, after UK clocks go back.

• Mom's day, 7 a.m. to 6 p.m.: Ana is first call. Jane joins from about noon Leeds time.
• Mom's evening, 6 p.m. to 10 p.m.: Jane is first call, in her afternoon.
• Mom's night, 10 p.m. to 7 a.m.: John is first call. For him it is 9 a.m. to 6 p.m. Jane is backup until about 3 a.m. Leeds time.

These gaps change during the year. Sydney moves its clocks forward in October as the UK moves back. For most of the UK summer, Sydney is 9 hours ahead of Leeds instead of 11. New York is usually 5 hours behind. The US changes its clocks on different dates from the UK. For a few weeks in March and about a week around the start of November, New York is 4 hours behind. Helsinki stays 2 hours ahead all year.

Put people on the ground near her

• A neighbor who is usually home and can reach her door in minutes.
• A key holder or a key safe. A key safe is a small coded box on an outside wall. It lets family, carers and emergency services in if she cannot get to the door. Some models carry police approval.⁷
• A local friend or relative who knows her routine and her GP surgery.
• Paid home care if she needs help with daily tasks. In England, all homecare agencies must register with the Care Quality Commission (CQC). The CQC publishes the latest inspection report for each agency.⁸⁹

Make these people easy to reach. Give each person your number and your siblings' numbers with country codes. Tell them the call order. Add them as emergency contacts on her phone.

Work through this checklist

• Find her police force's contact details for callers outside the UK.
• Have two local contacts and a key holder or key safe.
• Ask her council for a care needs assessment.
• Ask her GP surgery about family and carer access.
• Make and register a Lasting Power of Attorney while she has capacity.
• Save the Age UK Advice Line, 0800 678 1602.
• Share a written time zone plan with your siblings.
• Take the free fall-risk and living-alone check together.

See caring for a parent from abroad for the country-neutral version of this plan.